This being my final final reflection of my high school career, I thought it'd be fitting to not only reflect on this year's writing but also on my entire high school writing career. Get ready for some serious flashbacks.

​

I started writing when I was really little; I used to sit at my family's desktop computer (ya know when people still used those, and there was only one for the whole family) before school and write pages of dialogue-filled "novels." Even before that, though, apparently I would tell elaborate stories using stuffed animals, and because of this, my grandmother always thought I'd be some big shot writer by the time I got to high school. Anyway, when I moved to North Carolina after eighth grade, I clung to that part of me so ridiculously hard that that was all I did that summer. When it came time to enroll for classes, the one class I really wanted was Creative Writing---my parents actually fought for me to be in that one. I spent hours writing and revising the stuff I turned in for that class, and I was so proud of it when I was done. I just loved every second of it.

​

There was one thing that sort of plagued me, though, and that was how harsh I was on myself. Whether it was academically, athletically, or creatively, I've always been ultra-competitive, striving to be the best, for perfection. And looking back on my past pieces, on some of the drafting I did for those, even on some of the reflections from past portfolios, I see how critical of myself I really was. Even now, I see that still, though I've gotten a bit better. While I think it's good to be critical of yourself, I think it's also really important to just let yourself be and love what you can do, and I wish I would have figured that out sooner because while I progressed in my writing, nothing was ever good enough, and I stopped appreciating the gift I do have. I stopped loving it, writing and the process, for a while, which only solidified my self-aimed harshness. 

​

However, I think this year is the year I finally figured it out. It took me until maybe a few months ago, but I finally figured out how to love the things I do that aren't perfect and how to be confident in them despite their flaws. I wrote about the things I wanted to write about and focused on how I felt when I wrote them, on the details that stood out to me, on the emotions I found represented. 

​

Maybe my first year on staff was the year I grew a lot technically, but I think this year is the year I grew the most all around. My writing took on an ease and sophistication that hadn't previously been there. I shifted from making sure there was emotion my first year to worrying about structure variations and hidden purposes behind certain phrasing or punctuation placement this year. I expanded my topics of writing to include things I wasn't entirely familiar with. 

​

I think as far as last times go, this year has been well spent in the writing arena. I'm finally content with the work I've done.